You can’t let it change you. Then it’s not selling out. But is that even possible? Nowadays, if you’re a writer, you’re in sales. We just used to think someone else would be doing it for us.
The other day, the 21 year old technical whiz who works with me and I produced the first draft of a video for youtube. The publisher will either edit it and put it up or send us back to the drawing board. Their marketing person said two minutes, don’t read, talk about the book, but don’t give it away. Right now, we’re at five minutes and six seconds. And we’ve got lots of out-takes. A couple of times we got to laughing and almost couldn’t stop. The techie/director took care of lighting, sound, time, setting, wardrobe, hair frizzies, script management, feedback, production design, and more. I supplied the script and showed up. That was a lot!
I think the truth is my apprehension, at core, comes from the fact that I’m still getting to know the book. I wrote it and moved on to the next one. Now I look at it and try to remember. I’m surprised and unsettled by the comments of others who’ve recently read it. They’ve seen something I didn’t know was there and been moved by it. The book is clearly a thing unto itself.
I will say, as I go back into Jumping, looking for things to quote or things for readings, I find a lot I remember and still like. Maybe that’s because I know the book wasn’t written just by me. Go, little book!